What’s it like to have a childhood friend?

What’s it like to have a childhood friend? At twelve thirty, Guan knocked on the door of the house.

I had memorized that speech twelve times in my mind, but he was drunk and came back and fell on me.

The hot breath mixed with alcohol hit the side of my neck, and for no reason, it still numbed down there.

I dragged him to the sofa.

“Guan.

” I called his name.

“Huh?

” He responded vaguely, suddenly close to me, the pair of seductive peach blossom eyes covered with a layer of drunkenness, fine and beautiful.

“Old …… wife?

“Let’s get a divorce.

” I took a breath and was concise.

I married the bamboo horse, but his sweetheart is not me.

Yesterday afternoon, he sent a friend circle, the photo is him and his white moonlight, smiling brightly, did not shield me, greatly generous with the text, “after ten years”.

“……” He stared at me for a long time, head tilted, shirt in the door when he was haphazardly pulled open two buttons, I can not help but look up, and endured his eyes drooping to look at me.

“Away from …… away from what …… hmm?

From the soul?” “I didn’t.

“I didn’t, I …… have my soul here ……” “What is my wife talking about ……?

My three souls and six spirits are all here ……” “……” “Gu An ……” I gritted my teeth.

He is good, directly closed his eyes, in front of my face breathing slowed down.

Not a moment later, sleeping in a decent manner.

…… “To sleep to the bed to sleep, Gu An ……” I had to tug him, pulling him towards the bottom of the bed, he obediently let me hold this time, his body half pressed on me, like a puddle of mud, favoring to stick to me.

Dumping him on the bed, I took a breath and crawled over to turn off the bedside lamp.

The room darkened all at once.

I slept on one side of the bed, and Gu An was on the other, breathing evenly, as if he was preparing to be buried.

I had a good time talking about divorce, but he stirred me up to the point where I couldn’t do anything about it.

I slowly calculate how to open this mouth with Gu An tomorrow when he wakes up, a little bit also closed his eyes.

Suddenly, I was held tightly by a person.

Gu An’s body is still mixed with the smell of alcohol, but it does not smell bad at all, sometimes I will think how hopeless I am, Gu An no matter what, I can not dislike him bad.

“Don’t divorce me, dyeing ……” His breath was hitting the nape of my neck carelessly, and his voice was soft, like a dream.

You see, that’s how he is, easily rubbing a person’s heart, no matter what.

The next day, I made breakfast, Gu An rubbed his head and came out of the bedroom, changed into clean short sleeves and a big pants.

I think I’m sick, I still think he’s handsome after all these years of watching him.

“Morning, wife.

” He pulls out his chair and sits down across from me, taking the milk in front of me and drinking it, next to where I’ve been drinking.

“Guan.

“Huh?”

” He trailed off with a careless voice, his hand still scratching his cell phone.

“Let’s get a divorce.

“His hand finally stopped scratching his cell phone.

“Did you cheat on your wife?

” “…… I didn’t.

“Do you have a favorite person?

“…… No.

“You’ve got cancer and you don’t want to involve me so you’re ready to let go now?

“…… Gu An, are you sick?” I finally couldn’t help myself.

“I can’t help it.

I can’t help it,” I said. “Then why did you get divorced?

” He looked squarely at me, his eyes shallow, and do not know exactly what he was thinking.

“We’re not right for each other, and we’re not–” “We like each other.” “” He pulled away.

“”……” He pulled the corner of his mouth and heckled, only to laugh out loud himself first.

“Kids talk about liking each other.

“Whatever.”

” I also simply follow his example, tucking his pockets and leaning back, so that it seems as if the momentum is a little higher.

Does your mom know you’re divorcing me?”

“My mom really doesn’t know. Guan and I are a good match, our families have a little bit of money, and my mom has been looking at him since he was a kid.

If I tell my mom I want a divorce, she’ll have to crack my brain open and ask me what I’m thinking.

Let’s talk about it, okay?”

“While I was thinking about it, Gu An made quick work of it.

“I’m going to be late for work, so go get changed.”

“As he walked away, he left a kiss on the corner of my mouth.

Gu An left and I slumped in my chair, clicking on that friend circle again.

The friend circle that stopped on my finger was the one he posted yesterday afternoon.

It was the entrance to their company, and there were two people in the photo, not really close to each other, but the two of them smiled so well together.

He didn’t block me, and he graciously captioned it, “After ten years.

Bai Suyi is back.

Still very beautiful, very strong, as if through the screen my little built up poor confidence can be shattered by her.

High school is a time I don’t want to remember.

I was not so thin now, in fact, is not fat, but very strong, because my mom always like to feed me full, my bag is the most lack of snacks.

I was not a very talkative person when I was a child, in fact, I’m not very good at socializing now, I don’t like to go to the bar to go bouncing this point was also mentioned by Gu An ridicule.

Guan and I are not from the same world.

He has been a prodigal child, loves to play around, has a lot of good brothers, and has frequently changed girlfriends since junior high school.

As for me, I was fine in middle school, calmly fiddling through my days alone, and in high school I met Bai Suyi.

I was isolated by her and her group.

In fact, I’m used to being alone, but I can’t stand it when they drag others to chew on me, call me stout, call me ugly, and go around proclaiming that I like Gu An.

Yes, I do like Gu An.

Who doesn’t like a boy who smiles and talks well and has a good personality and you can see him every day?

But I like Gu An, that is the humble me, cowardly me, has been carefully hidden secret ah.

Thanks to Bai Suyi and her clique, I liked Gu An, which became a joke that almost everyone in my high school knew.

I remember that time when Gu An first heard about it, he was still smiling wistfully and swinging.

“Holy shit, you like me?

I’m scared.

” He was such a person, crushing my pathetic little pride without a care in the world.

Oh, and Gu An and Bai Suyi are together.

Bai Suyi has been with him the longest of his girlfriends, and I know he’s really moved on.

I should be too.

Bai Suyi is good-looking, and is the president of the student union, she and Gu An should be a kind of people, flaunting, even bullies are so clear.

Bai Suyi led her followers to give me nicknames, took the lead in isolating me, told the teacher that I brought cheat sheets to class, and threw my books out of the window.

Because I didn’t meet her eye, she said bluntly that she hated me.

I was so bullied by them that I hid in the classroom and cried, and Gu An, who was looking for Bai Suyi, bumped into me.

“Wow, don’t cry, who bullied you? Brother will take you to revenge?” he half squatted next to me.

” He half squatted next to me, his tone was half-true, I must have cried ugly at that time, little girls at that time were quite concerned about their image in front of the people they liked.

I hated that I couldn’t show my good self in front of Guan.

At that time, the age of love, like the person seems to be everything, Guan in me is arsenic is also honey.

He knew, he knew who was bullying me.

He still stands by and makes snide remarks.

Because Guan and Bai Suyi are the same kind of people, the same flamboyant, the same bad, stand together always so match.

But then they both broke up.

I think I was at least a little bit jumpy the moment I found out about their breakup.

But then I saw Gu An’s face black as anything those days.

He cared, cared a lot about Bai Suyi, he didn’t even have this kind of expression when he broke up before, but he was very mean those days, all day long with a stern face and sullen eyes.

Even after Gu An and I had been married for so many years, I had never seen that expression on his face again.

One day I was left alone to do my duty.

When I was finished, the sun had completely set over the horizon, and when I came out of the classroom, I saw Gu An lying alone on the railing of the building, smoking a cigarette.

He was tall, leaning lazily, half of his face hidden in the smoke, his eyes not knowing where he was looking.

I knew at a glance that he had smoked several cigarettes.

“Don’t smoke so much.

“I walked up next to him.

He lowered his eyes to look at me, and answered with a voice squeezed out of his throat.

“You broke up?

” He raised an eyebrow, put his cigarette out, looked at me for a long moment, and opened his mouth.

“Yeah.

” His voice was a little muffled.

“Was it hard?

“It was okay.

“……” Then we didn’t talk anymore.

When we reached the stairway, Guan stopped.

He tilted his head to look at me, and I suddenly had a bad feeling.

“Want to have some fun?

“……” “Sure.

“At least if that makes you happy …… The game is rock-paper-scissors, and the loser carries the winner home.

It’s boring, right? But when I actually had to carry Guan on my back, it was more than boring.

Rock paper scissors, two out of three, Guan won big.

Seriously, it’s a real struggle to carry a big boy who’s about 5’8″.

The key on my back this person is still restless, fingers ruffled over the tip of my ear, this will be the voice really sandwiched with laughter.

“Lin Yin, you’re really cool.” He didn’t come down to let me go at all.

“He didn’t have any intention of coming down and letting me go, and I couldn’t tell you why I really carried him all the way down.

I stepped hard, and he hummed softly on my back.

By the time we got to the door, I was so tired I couldn’t stop panting.

He jumped off of me, looking at me with downcast eyes and not saying anything, quite a stark contrast to my bit of a mess.

After a while, he finally opened his mouth and called my name quite normally.

“Lin dye.

“”Hmm …… hmm?

“If you can lose up to ninety pounds, I’ll let you be my girlfriend.”

“Gu An’s sentence, in the end, how much impact on that time I have.

At least it was very deep and engraved in my heart.

I began to lose weight, first bought diet pills, ate for several weeks, but the effect is too weak; I also looked for a variety of diet on the Internet, each of which is practiced once.

In fact, I am a very no long time, this time actually insisted on a few months of frog jumping up the stairs.

As I ran downstairs in laps, I didn’t even know what the point was of having me do it.

It originated from a joke that could possibly have been something Guan casually told me.

I ran up and down against the setting sun.

When I first started the diet it was painful, my mom’s cooking was so flavorful and delicious that there were times I could cry under the covers from hunger.

I didn’t know anything at that time, and I followed some methods on the Internet blindly, I was too anxious, sometimes I only drink water every day, or only eat eggs, and then insist on such a lot of exercise, I finally made myself to the hospital.

I’ve always had stomach problems until now, that’s when I was tossed.

But so tossed, the result is that I from a 160 pounds of fat, finally reduced to a 90 pounds of skinny.

And one thing I don’t want to admit is that even if I am thin, I don’t look as good as Bai Suyi.

It even seemed like, no one noticed my change.

Not even Gu An.

“What are you calling me out for, huh?

“He was looking at me with his pockets in place, and it’s been more than three months since he broke up, so it looks like he’s back to normal.

But he hadn’t even gotten a girlfriend in those three months.

“Do you see any changes in me?

“”It …… seems …… slimmer?

” He cocked his head to measure me.

“…… You still remember you ……” I couldn’t say the words behind.

He clearly does not remember.

I felt so close to crying at that moment.

“Oh, I remember.

” But at that moment, his hand suddenly closed over the top of my head and rubbed it twice.

“I told you to be my girlfriend?

” He looked at me, and I could never deny that his eyes were just filled with the Milky Way, and when he smiled he could ripple that pool of fine stars.

“I’m looking forward to it, girlfriend.

“And that’s how Guan and I got together.

Guan took me to meet his brothers, to drink, to go to the bar to dance, it was a world I had never been exposed to.

The frequently flashing lights shone on the people around us, the restless drums pounded my eardrums, and Guan looked down and spoke in my ear.

“Do you like it?

“Don’t like it.

It was Guan’s world, loud, flamboyant, restless and unsettling.

He took my hand and pulled me out of the room full of noise.

I watched as he looked down and lit a cigarette, his eyes drooping, reflecting the magnificent streetlights of the city.

Outlining his nice silhouette.

“Why don’t you go inside?

“I asked him.

He picked his eyes at me with a cigarette in his mouth, the starburst flickering on and off.

“Are you used to bouncing, huh?

“I’m not only used to it, I’m …… also used to it.” The city was still noisy that day, and the street lights were neon and bright, so I snatched Guan’s cigarette and took a drag, spraying white smoke on my face.

Half of his face was suddenly hidden, and in his eyes were the magnificent lights of ten thousand homes.

“I want to divorce Gu An.

“In the afternoon after work, I estimated that Gu An will not come home for dinner tonight, I simply asked a friend.

Su Qi is my college classmate, studying law, I want her to help me draft the divorce agreement.

“Divorce?

So sudden?

I remember your husband is quite nice.

“……” “He’s not nice at all.” “……” “That’s why he’s not nice.

“So …… you’ve had a fight?

“But when I think about it, I really haven’t quarreled with Guan in all these years.

While we ate, worked, slept, and played the role of a model couple in the eyes of others, I couldn’t say how close I was to Gu An.

But there was a balance that kept us at peace with each other for so many years.

Until Bai Suyi came along.

“Actually, the problem between the two of us has always been there.

” I flicked the wall of the cup and it made a crisp ringing sound.

“But I’ve kept it hidden.

“Come on, have a drink with me.

” Brainstorming at that point, I yanked up Suqi’s hand.

Prior to this, the number of times I went to the bar was very few and far between, and even I didn’t think that I would do such a thing as getting drunk in a bar.

Because borrowing alcohol can dispel sorrows.

“Don’t, don’t, you’ll feel sick tomorrow if you drink too much.”

“Why don’t you listen to me? If you keep drinking, I’ll call your husband.”

“I’ll call your husband if you keep drinking! You go find him! He must be drinking too! He can come over I’ll take your last name, okay ……” I do not know how many cups down, the silhouette of people are looking into several, the lights dazzle people headache, but alcohol does also paralyze people’s nerves.

“I’ll take your last name, I’ll be called, I’ll be called …… right, I’ll be called Su Dye, uh, Su Dye, I’ll be called Su Dye okay ……” “Well, Su Dye is also quite nice to listen to.

” Opposite the sound child suddenly changed a person, I looked up to see, really can not see, only to see a piece of white corner of the coat, I grabbed his arm, frowned.

I grabbed his arm and frowned. “Who are you?

“Your husband.

” He moved closer to me, smoothing my messy hair over my ears, his eyes dark and unreadable for emotion.

“Your ‘I’m sure he’s fucking drinking too’ husband.”

” “……” He sat down next to me and took the drink out of my hand, shaking it and propping his chin up to look at me.

“Tell me, why are you divorcing me?

“Because you’re an asshole.

” He raised an eyebrow.

“This alcohol is a real mistake.

” I looked at his face, his eyebrows were still mild, lined with the starlight of the bar, it was someone I had liked for a long, long time, I reached out, pressed his eyebrows.

He didn’t move, still looking at me, and I slid my hand down the brow, the eyes, the bridge of the nose, the mouth, and I sketched him out in full.

“Don’t think I don’t know, that white moon of yours is back.

“The moonbeam?”

“Yes, you even took pictures, not only did you take pictures but you also sent them to your friends, and you even laughed together.

“You mean Soojung?”

“He responded.

“How did she become my moonlight?

“You’ve always liked him!” “……” I suddenly heard him laugh.

It was the kind of laugh that you can’t hold back.

He ran his hand across my cheek and pinched my face.

“Dye Dye, you’re so funny.

” then suddenly pulls me into his arms, holding my head down, his voice low and husky as he traces it across my ear, “Especially when you’re drunk.

”His chest was warm, my brain, which was already paralyzed by alcohol, went even more on the spot, and after a while, I remembered that I couldn’t keep being held by this dog man in front of me.

“Gu An, let go of me, I want to divorce you!” “Don’t meddle, I won’t have any contact with Bai Suyi anymore, okay?

“「……」 「No! “I want to leave ……” “Because this is actually not Bai Suyi’s problem ah ……” I lowered my head, the latter words but how can not speak, he looked at me half a day did not respond, close to me, but all of a sudden saw me fall tears.

「You cry ……染染?

” He pinched my chin and lifted my head, his fingertips wiped away the tears on the side of my cheeks in a haphazard manner, and as a result, the more I cried, the more I cried, and he completely panicked.

「Don’t cry, don’t cry, I was wrong ……」「I was wrong, don’t cry, okay, dye dye?

” It seems like I have never seen Guan like this before.

Squatting in front of me, a little flustered, the light and shadow intertwined, bright and dark always make me unreal.

“Dye, stop drinking, let’s go home.” He turned around, letting me lie on my back.

” He turned around and let me lie on his back, I wrapped my arms around his neck and suddenly smiled.

“Gu An, do you remember, I carried you like this too.

“”……” I felt him lurch.

“Why were you so stupid back then, you really carried me all the way.” “Yeah, I didn’t just carry you.

“Yes, I was stupid.”

“The streetlight in front of me was shaking with light and shadows, I looked at the curved moon in the sky and suddenly felt so tired.

“Guan, let’s get a divorce when we get back.

“No good.” “You don’t have a choice.

“You don’t have a choice.

“Why are you talking dirty?”

“He turned his head slightly sideways, and the streetlights gathered his side face, and I felt that I couldn’t hate Gu An’s face.

“Do you hear me? Divorce!” I argued into his ear.

“I’m not getting a divorce.

” “Why do you want to not divorce, you want to not divorce, you want to bully me to bully me, you say ignore me to ignore me …… ” I grabbed him by the back of the collar, the more I said, the smaller the voice.

Small to the end, I tugged on his collar so faintly fell asleep.

It was the summer vacation of the senior high school graduation.

Gu An’s grades were actually very good, probably to the threshold of those two national first-class institutions of learning, I did my best to chase him, but in the latter part of my senior year I was still left behind by him by more than thirty places.

The day the admission results were announced, he and I got into the same university.

University B was my first choice and his second.

And he filled in the first volunteer A university, but because of the difference of two points and failed to get into the list.

I was really happy to know that I got into the same university as him.

But when I went to him with this happiness, he just faintly answered.

“We’ll be in the same school from now on.

” He looked down and flipped through his cell phone, squeezing a sound out of his throat.

“Uh-huh.

“Guan?

“”Is it because you didn’t get into University A …… “”No.””

“In fact, the University of B is also quite good, and I also …… have something to do?

If not, can you stop hanging out in front of me? I’m bored.

“He looked up at me and frowned.

“And I’m at the University of B, too,” he said.

I never said it again.

That summer vacation, Gu An and his brother spent two months in an internet café.

I later realized that it was because of Bai Suyi, who got into University A.

You see, that’s all I have in his heart. I don’t know if I should be happy that he didn’t go to the same school as Bai Suyi.

He would have chosen Bai Suyi and me.

–Then, I clearly understood this matter.

I woke up the next day with a headache that was about to explode.

What was even more terrifying was that I saw the figure sitting in front of my bed.

–Gu An.

“Quite capable, ah, how many bottles of wine did you drink in one night do you know?

” “Huh?

Lin Dye?

” he trailed off, pulling out a nice but tortured tone.

「……」I hugged the quilt, I really don’t know, but I also have a real headache, blurring into his eyes, where it was dark and heavy, I suddenly comprehended that he was coming for real.

「……」 「No talk?

“Guan, you can’t control me.

You can’t control me.” “Can’t control you?

He was about to be laughed at by me, “I’m your husband, I can’t control?” “Not anymore.

“Not anymore.” I looked at him hard, as if he were a man of the world.

“I looked at him hard, as if I could get a higher level of anger.

“Okay, let’s not talk about this, Dye, it’s your first time to go to a bar, do you know how much you can drink, and you’re drinking here regardless?

“”……” This is indeed my fault.

If it wasn’t for Gu An and Su Qi, it would be hard for me to imagine what would happen to me if I got drunk.

“I won’t drink next time, okay?

“Dye ……” He suddenly came close to me, rarely slowing down his voice, a little suppressed, but also rubbed with a swooning tenderness.

“I don’t think I can stand being without you.” “” I realized that I could not live without you.

“……” I knew that divorce is not so easy to leave.

Lin Dye, you are just soft, obviously made the decision, but he stirred up a mess.

I was on my desk, rubbing my head in frustration.

At this time, my cell phone rang.

An unfamiliar number, one I hadn’t seen before.

I answered it a bit perfunctorily, even distractedly guessing whether the call was trying to get me to buy a house or enroll in a class, only to have the female voice ringing from the other side make me almost let go of the phone.

Yes, it’s been so many years, Lin Dye, you’re still afraid to even hear her voice.

This call, it was from Bai Suyi.

“Hey, Lin Dye, long time no see.

”The female voice on the other side of the phone held the usual condescending voice line, I still couldn’t help but squeeze the phone tightly.

「…… Something wrong?

“Our old high school classmates are going to get together at the Wan Ting Hotel on Saturday.

“No.” “Oh?

No.” “Oh?

Oh?

Guan promised me he’d come last time.

“I just heard that you and Guan got married.” “……” I put the phone down.

“……” I hung up the phone.

I hung up because I didn’t want to hear the rest of the conversation.

I dialed Gu An’s number.

“Hello, wife?

” He answered quickly.

“Gu An, come to the civil affairs bureau.

“……” “We’re getting a divorce.

“What’s going on, honey?

“Gu An, don’t mess with me anymore, let’s get this straight, is it so hard to get divorced?

“……” There was a silence on the other side of the phone.

His voice suddenly dropped.

“Okay, wife, then you wait for me at the flower bed in front of the Civil Affairs Bureau.”

“…… “The government relocated to a new area, the flower bed next to the Civil Affairs Bureau, although the green is good, there is really not many people, I waited for a quarter of an hour, Guan only came.

He drove a car over, that is the first car after we got married, we both agreed that the family has money can not take money from the family again, Guan that time has not been a director, I am still just a trainee teacher, buy the first car, I really feel happy.

But then there is a second and third, but not when the two people squeezed on the couch to calculate how long to buy the car’s excitement.

He was still in his suit, his tie was crooked, and as soon as he saw me he ran toward me, his hair a little messy.

“I just had a meeting, wife ……” “Okay, go.

” I really do not like to see his tie, give him to straighten up, go forward.

But he didn’t move behind me.

“Honey, can’t we work something out?

“…… Guan.

“I know, and then I thought about it, I’m also enough …… asshole, I can not go back to the past, if you can really go back …… “You know what, I really fucking quite want to go back to the time I beat up.

“……” “Gu An, it’s pointless to talk about this, and I’m saying that I don’t want to forgive you.” “I don’t want to forgive you,” he said silently.

I don’t want to forgive you.” “……” He was silent for a while.

“Can we really not go back?

“We can’t go back.

“Yes, is that so.” He looked up at me.

“He looked up at me, the end of his eyes hitching, eyes clear and light, quiet but also fondness, my heart is still uncontrollably dialed down, heh, Lin Dye, you again soft heart.

But the next second, he suddenly hugged me tightly.

I should say, tucked me in and ran.

“What are you doing! Gu An! Put me down!” I started to struggle, and one of his hands was wrapping around my waist, squeezing.

“Don’t move.

I knew it, this dog man, if soft doesn’t work, he’ll do it the hard way.”

“Do you believe I’m going to scream?

“Anyway, there shouldn’t be anyone here, so I’ll be unlucky if I’m really discovered.

“Gu An! He entered the car, closed the door, and pressed me into the back seat.

His hands didn’t forget to fix my hair for me.

“Honey, be good, calm down for a while.

” “…… You just stir it up, Guan.

“Are you angry?

” He came close to me, peach blossom eyes clear and shallow, with a little smile when the ripples.

“Gu An, do you remember the day I first asked you for a divorce?” I didn’t want to smile.

“And I didn’t want to smile at all.

“Huh?

“That day was the fourth night in a row that you came home after twelve o’clock.

……” “I know, I know you’re busy at work, yes, between husband and wife is not just this little thing, I used to think that I could endure, and then I realized that I really can’t go on.” “Every night, you tell me that you’re not going to be able to live with it.

“Every night tell me you have to socialize, yes, you socialize, then I every night to a table with divorce what is the difference?” “Dye, you listen to me,” he said.

“Dye you listen to me ……” “You and Bai Suyi take pictures together and send them to your friends, I admit I am jealous, after all, look at it, have you ever had me as a person in your circle of friends?

” I stirred the collar of his shirt before I realized that I cried out first.

Lin Dye, you’re so ungrateful.

“Dye Dye, don’t cry, okay, listen to me ……” “Don’t I live like a transparent person these years!” “Have you really paid attention to me Gu An?

Or is it because I’m too good, I like you too much, and you think it’s okay to do whatever you want to me?” “You don’t know I have a stomach.

“You don’t know that I have a stomach problem, do you? You don’t know that I’ve gone to the hospital several times for stomach problems in the years we’ve been married.

“I got the number all by myself.” “You never said you’d take me.

“You never said take me out to play, go wherever ah, amusement parks, climbing mountains, the beach, you just, you can not take me once …… we have been married for five years ah ……” “You have been working, yes, now really great, sitting in the position of the director. Damn finally you can talk to your ex-girlfriend about cooperation ah?

“When you see Bai Suyi, you are very happy, right Gu An, after all, ten years have not seen, how is that night almost did not date to the hotel?” “Lin dye!

“Lin Yin!” I glared at him, and I don’t know what kind of fierce expression I used, but his tone immediately softened.

“It’s not what you think, Dye ……” “You ask me if I can go back, yes, give you the opportunity to find your ex-girlfriend, you did not agree to a class reunion, you fucking go to find her ah! The last sentence, I was roaring out.

“……” He lowered his eyes, did not speak.

“Guan, if you’re a man, you should just get a clean divorce.

“Then can I say I’m not a man.

” He looked up at me, his eyes foggy, unable to see anything.

“Guan!” “I don’t have my ID.

“When …… said this, he didn’t look at me, but he still had no intention of letting me go.

“Okay, you’re really good.

“I made a strong effort to break away from him, and he probably let go of my hand for fear that I would get hurt if he pressed down on me any more.

I got out of the car and slammed the door shut hard.

“I’ll email you my divorce papers on Monday.

”I can’t go back to my home with Gu An, so I simply organized my things and went back to my mother’s house.

When my mom saw me, she really didn’t have the joy of not seeing me for a long time.

“Did you have a fight with Gu An?

“Not a fight, a divorce.” She was still washing the dishes.

“She was still washing the dishes, but when she heard this, she wiped her hands in the kitchen and came out with a puzzled look on her face.

“What did he do to you?

“Nothing.

“So he just divorced me?”

Hey, no, the Gu family is letting you fool around?” “Why fool around?

“Why is it nonsense, how is it nonsense ……” to my mom, I really can’t hold back my tears.

Once she saw me crying, she probably realized that I was serious and rushed over to pat me on the back.

“Don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t cry.

“Are you my own mother?” “Did the Gu family really bully you?

“She looked at me suspiciously for a few moments and spoke cautiously.

“Is that kid looking for a woman?

“……” I was silent.

“Hey! He’s really out there?

” I saw that she was going back to the kitchen to get a knife, so I hurriedly pulled back.

“Don’t get involved, just leave me alone, it’s my own business.

“I was lying on the bed in my room.

After so many years, my mom still left me a room, she said that in case I really have no place to go one day, I can still have a place to go back to.

I stared at the ceiling, suddenly feeling tired.

The downstairs of the old town is still bustling, and the sound of children playing after school, the crunching of bicycle bells, and the yelling of vendors downstairs seem to stretch the time to a fine length.

I told my mom not to get involved, she really obeyed and went downstairs to dance with other older women, not caring whether their daughter is hurt by love and will soon be divorced.

I would have stayed home alone is fine, but coincidentally, my stomach began to hurt.

At first just a little bit of pain, after all, I am also considered to be a veteran of stomach problems, in my mom’s medicine cabinet to pull a little medicine, pouring a little hot water down on the lying flat on the bed.

But then, it hurt more and more.

This hadn’t happened before, that is, I was in outright pain to the point where I couldn’t walk, and as far as I could remember, even the stomach bugs I’d gotten when I was on a diet in high school hadn’t hurt like this.

I want to call my mom, but the phone just touched it to me lifted to the bed, I again had to cover the stomach kneeling on the ground, really in addition to the pain is not thinking about other energy, my hand haphazardly open the address book, the first contact is Gu An.

…… Gu An’s initials are actually going to be at the back of the list, it’s just that one time he took my cell phone and added an a in front of his name in the address book.

I sighed, suddenly thinking that today is Saturday.

Guan was still going to that class reunion or whatever it was, right?

The phone picked up and rang twice, he answered it rather quickly.

“Hello, Dye?

“The voices on the other side of the phone were noisy, mixed with the clamor of men and women, the rattle of beer bottles clinking together, and I could hear someone shouting his name through the microphone, reaching my ears.

Lin Dye, how can you hear it so clearly.

In the end, I didn’t say anything and hung up the phone.

As the phone slipped out of my hand, I thought of two things.

The first was how could my stomach hurt so much.

The second thing was how in the world I should leave Gu An clean.

…… “Dye, don’t sleep, where are you uncomfortable?

” I felt someone shake me and squinted my eyes open slightly, it was blurry and I couldn’t see anything.

He took me in his arms and squeezed the back of my neck, but my stomach was still hurting and I answered softly.

“Can you lie down on your back?

” He turned his back to me.

I got on my back and then he picked me up and headed downstairs.

I shrank as the wind blew through the street, and the light wavered so that all I could see was his somewhat short hair.

“Guin?

“Uh-huh.

“How did you know where I was?

“There are only a few places you can go, and when you were a child, you only liked to hide in your room and cry.

“I really regret it, Gu An.” “I really regret it too.

“I really regret it too, Lin Yan.” “You said, if I had done it before, I would have been able to get away with it.

“If I had realized that I liked you earlier, I wouldn’t have had to deal with so many things,” he said.

“Only children talk about liking.” He laughed twice.

“He laughed twice and pawed me.

“He’s so vindictive.

“Gu An ……” “Huh?

“Don’t play dumb. You know I don’t like Bai Suyi, so why did you go to the reunion she organized?

” He was silent.

The street lights were drawn out long, in fact, I knew he couldn’t answer.

I was woken up by the sound of the crowd running past.

I was leaning against the hospital corridor, a needle stuck in the back of my hand, medicine dripping from the bottle.

Guan was sitting beside me.

“Linye, I’m an asshole.

” He suddenly said this without a clue.

「……」”That’s a useless thing to say at a time like this, Gu An, you still have to leave.

” He laughed.

“Just how afraid are you that I won’t be able to get a divorce from you, Dye?

“”……” I was silent.

He didn’t say anything either, and we looked at the hospital corridor together, the crowd moving, floating but gradually able to surround us.

“Bai Suyi came to talk to us on behalf of their company, it’s a pretty big project.

It’s quite a big project,” he suddenly spoke in a very soft voice.

“I admit, I am so secular,” he said.

“Whether it’s sending her a circle of friends or going to a party, it’s all a means to enlist her.” “This project has been pending for a long time.

“This project has been on the table for a long time, and my dad’s other ‘good son’ is also eyeing their company, so I have to find a way to get closer to her.” “That circle of friends, I didn’t have a chance to talk to her.

“I didn’t mean anything by that circle of friends, but I just wanted the rival company to see that I had some old feelings for the person in charge of the project.” “I attended the party too.

” “The party is also, I attended her party and drank her wine, she will have to be a little loose on cooperation.

“”I admit …… that when I was in high school, I didn’t like you.

“But after being with you, I realized that I really liked you, more than I thought, and I couldn’t help myself from never wanting to leave you again.

“I’ve always been used to the idea that you’re a good boy, you don’t make trouble, you don’t argue, you don’t lose your temper with me, and then I realized that it’s because you’ve been putting up with me all this time.

“I can’t ask you to come back now, right?

Can you wait for me, wait for me to climb up the ladder step by step, wait for me not to smile all the time, not to be attached to the trend of inflammation at the wine table, wait for me to sit in that position that makes everyone look up to me, I’ll come back to marry you once again, OK?

” He looked at me quietly, with a desperate and quiet look.

「……」”That’s a really open way of saying it, Gu An, in the end, you chose your career between your career and me, didn’t you?

” He looked at me for a long time.

His eye shape is beautiful, before always with a little indefinable tenderness, but now his eyes can not see anything, foggy, with a dead heart general gray silence.

He suddenly raised his hand and clasped the back of my head and kissed me.

It was a deep, yet quick kiss.

He attacked, yet withdrew and left when I reacted.

He lifted my chin and kissed the corner of my mouth once again.

“Guan!” This time I pushed him away.

“Yeah.

” His eyelids drooped, and the wind blew through the long corridor, his voice faint, like it was going to blow away into the wind soon.

“I chose a career.

” “Well, it looks like the divorce is finally finalized.

” I nodded, in fact, I now had the urge to immediately pull out the syringe and get out of here.

“But there’s one thing, Gu An, I won’t wait for you, I’ll never wait for you again.

“Changing Perspectives” ~ “Mr. Bai, happy cooperation.

” In front of the Xiting Hotel, every time a table dispersed at this point, the people in suits were more or less drenched in alcohol.

“Mr. Gu, you’re drinking like this and you still don’t forget to work together.

“A middle-aged man holding another young man, the young man hanging eyelashes, the corner of his mouth hooked with a hidden smile.

“How can that be forgotten, Uncle Li I also thank you ah, if not for you, the cooperation can not be negotiated …… Uh, if not no wine glass, I would like to toast you again!” Guan narrowed his eyes, he did not know how to control his facial muscles, try to make himself smile to please some.

“Come on, how are you going to get back?

How about a cab?

“What’s your address?

” The middle-aged man again supported the Guan, said while beckoning the car.

“Home ah ……” Gu An’s voice suddenly lowered.

When the middle-aged man looked at him like this, he only saw that he was relentless and the corners of his mouth were turned down.

“Well, where do you live ah, for you to recruit a car.

“I can’t go back first, Uncle Li, you sit first, you sit first, my house is not far, walk back is also okay.

“But the next second he put a smile on his face, obviously mixed with the smell of alcohol still remembered to put Uncle Li into the cab when he gave him a headshift.

The middle-aged man can not help but think, this young man is not watertight, living is also too tired.

I can’t help but give him a hand.

“The first thing you need to do is to get a good deal of money from your family.

“Harm, really not ……” “It’s okay, Mr. Gu, if you don’t want my driver to send you,” said a female voice.

“A woman’s voice came straight in.

Bai Suyi wore a long slim wrap-around skirt today, showing her figure to the fullest, slightly bent over, with a few strands of hair hanging down.

She had always known how to show her most beautiful places to men.

Gu An narrowed her eyes.

“Oh, that’s a good feeling, I’ll leave first.

” The middle-aged man reacted first, smiled, and snapped on the car door.

The cab left in a cloud of dust, and he suddenly felt a pain in his neck from the winter wind.

“Gu An, are you drunk or not?

” Bai Suyi opened her mouth beside her, like a gash in the cold night.

“Hey.

I’m not drunk. I’ve only had a few drinks.

Come on, get in the car with me. I’ll take you home.” “No, Mr. Bai.

“Don’t, Mr. Bai, how can I ask you to send me personally? I’ll just go by myself, and you can take care of the cooperation.

“Gu An, can you stop saying such hypocritical things to me all the time?” Bai Suyi suddenly raised the pitch, the two stood in the street, Gu An lowered his head, could not see any expression.

“I know that you and Lin Dye are divorced, she doesn’t deserve you at all, and I don’t think you can’t see that I’m interested in you.

” “We are now a man not married to a woman, if you have my family’s industry, you know how easy it is for you to bring down that brother of yours.

“Mr. Bai has a very thorough understanding.

“The tone of Gu An’s voice had little rise and fall, hidden in the night, so bright and dark that it was hard to see.

“Don’t call General Manager Bai, you can call me …… Suyi.

” Bai Suyi took a step forward, her slender white fingers crossed Gu An’s collar, Gu An didn’t move, hung her eyes, didn’t know what she was thinking.

The atmosphere is a little restless, Bai Suyi bold a little, tiptoe, the distance between the two gradually pulled a little close.

Gu An pushed her away.

The force was a bit strong, and she was pushed to stagger.

“Don’t, Mr. Bai, I’m going to throw up all the wine I just drank tonight.

” In fact because of the alcohol Gu An’s head was a bit sluggish, when Bai Suyi leaned over he suddenly thought of another person.

Lin Yan had never asked him for a kiss.

He thought that now he would go crazy associating her from anywhere.

“Gu An!” Bai Suyi called out to him with a bit of hatred.

“Where am I not like Lin Yin?

We were obviously so good in high school!” “Who remembers high school after so many years?” he said.

“He thought what she remembered was that one day when the sun was setting over the silhouette of a mountain, a man was holding on to his back and carrying him from school to the door of his house.

He was dying of heartache.

“Bai Suyi, do you remember, what we did to Lin Dye in high school, there’s a word for that nowadays, it’s called school violence.

” He habitually pulled out cigarettes from his pocket and suddenly realized that he had to quit smoking for a while, and that was probably after marrying …… Lin Dye.

He frowned, but she began to appear in his mind again in a trance.

“I don’t know if you regret it …… Anyway, I now, I regret it.

” “Regret to death.

” He inserted his coat pockets and glanced at Bai Suyi, that glance was a little cold, looking at Bai Suyi subconsciously took a step back.

Gu An then walked into the darkness of the night without looking back.

After twelve o’clock at night, the streets are not many people, store doors are closed tightly, sometimes crossing the lights of the car, connecting a snow-white line.

Gu An walked along without a beat.

He wondered aimlessly what Lin Dye was doing, in the past, no matter how late he came home, she seemed to be waiting for him.

When she fell asleep, she would leave a light at the end of her bed for him.

What about now, would she go to bed early now, anyway, he thought about her every night and every night, so much so that he couldn’t sleep.

Habit really was a terrible thing.

He glanced at the window a few times as he passed a jewelry store and suddenly stood still.

The store was closed, but the light in the window was still on.

He had always thought that although this kind of thing looked good, all good-looking ones were the same, and his female colleagues in the company sometimes wore them, so he couldn’t see the difference between wearing them and not wearing them anyway.

He thought back to when he and Lin Dye got married and went to pick out a wedding dress, he sat outside on the couch and watched her try the dress out.

Her neck was white and slender when her hair was coiled up, and that was when the clerk asked if she wanted a customized set of jewelry.

He forgot his answer at that time.

Probably didn’t care, and later Lin Dye didn’t ask to order it.

But did she want it at that time, he frowned, this question suddenly bothered him too much, she was expecting him to give her a set that belonged exclusively to her at that time, right?

But he didn’t care then, he really didn’t.

He suddenly pulled out his cell phone and dialed her number.

The phone was hung up, connected with a series of busy sounds, bit by bit cutting his heart.

“Dye Dye.

” He squeezed the cell phone, his voice almost scattered in the wind, he knew that the person on the other side had hung up long ago, but he still said regardless.

“I saw a store that sells jewelry, and I think there’s a necklace in there that suits you.

” The phone still beeped, he felt his brain had been stirred up by alcohol.

“Come back, Dye, come back, okay?” But no one listened to him.

“But no one was listening to him, only the sound of the whistling wind, Gu An wrinkled his eyebrows and shouted her name over and over again.

But the night was drenched in color, and the person he called out to would never come back.

Three years later.

Immediately another graduation season, Lin Dye has just been promoted to his former alma mater as a university teacher, this will not be happy, things one after another.

“What’s wrong, you don’t seem to have much energy these days?

“During the lunch break in the cafeteria, her colleague Xiao Li sat next to her.

“What else is going on?

The students are not satisfied with their final grades, they came to my office and begged me, saying that they don’t want to retake the exams, not that I’m saying, but I really gave them a pass.

I’m not saying that, but I do pass everything I can.” “It’s a common thing every year.

“You don’t come to class, you don’t listen to me, and now that you’re going to retake the test, you’re begging the teacher again.

“……” Lin Dye next to me didn’t answer, as if he had lost his soul.

“Mr. Lin?

“Xiao Li followed her gaze to see, is looking at do not know when the school leaders of the group came over, so look, are the courtyard of the dignified big shots, the center is also surrounded by a person.

Wearing a trench coat, hands in pockets, his expression was light, and he didn’t know whether he had listened to the group of forty to fifty year olds with smiles on their faces.

“This is that who!” She suddenly remembered.

“The CEO of something or other, he was invited to give an honorary alumni speech today.

“Tsk, how so handsome, you see, I have not seen the dean of the group of people so respectful, he is called Gu …… Gu what to come …… “Gu An.

” Next to Lin Dye gently picked up the sentence.

“Ah right right right ……” Lin Dye had already buried her head and continued to eat, but this time, the speed was not only fast, but also how her head was not raised.

Xiao Li then witnessed the dishes on her plate decrease at a speed visible to the naked eye, got up, cleared the table, and sent the cutlery to be emptied in a single motion.

“I have a class this afternoon, I’m leaving.

”It’s like avoiding some plague.

Lin Dye didn’t expect to meet Gu An at this time.

After she divorced Gu An, she devoted herself to her work.

Later, she had the opportunity to go back to her alma mater as a college teacher, and thought that the two of them would go their separate ways, but she didn’t expect to see him again.

How to say, so far from looking, a little strange.

She remembered that Guan used to like to smile.

But looking at it now, Gu An’s eyes were hanging down, diffident, and inscrutable.

To be honest, over the past few years, seeing Gu An on TV had become more frequent.

Most of the time, Lin’s mother called her to come and see her, while souring her, saying that she had divorced for good reason, if not, she would be a rich wife now.

Lin Dye didn’t feel much of anything about it.

Suddenly, she felt that she could replace anyone, but not Gu An.

“Teacher Xiao Lin, I was just looking for you!” Someone called out to her, pulling her out of her thoughts.

The teacher who taught physics, Mr. Wu, was a person who smiled with an overly sunny smile, and like her, he became a university teacher at a young age, so he was very talkative.

A double-degree doctorate from 985 in China, he had a house and had just gotten an SUV, and the point was, he was interested in her.

Very good conditions.

She doesn’t know when she started to look at people in this way.

Maybe it was her old mother who pushed her to get married every day, saying that she was even worse off as a divorced woman, shouting at her to go on blind dates day after day.

But she really didn’t feel anything.

To the man in front of her as well, she had to smile and stop to signal his next words.

“I’m not going to Huaijiang for research, here, this is the local specialties there, I’ve brought you a copy.

“Very delicate little bag, ancient color, should be very pleasing to women.

Thank you.”

“Lin Dye still received, while pondering, when to return this gift in a different way.

In fact, Xiao Wu was much more thoughtful than someone from the past.

On one of his business trips, Gu An didn’t know if he had a guilty conscience or a brain fart, but he actually brought her back a dream catching net.

She had been hanging the net carefully, watching the feathers hanging down from it, and sighed, wondering when he would come home early.

She didn’t know where that dreamcatcher had gone now, Gu An had left her the house, but she had been so angry that she had thrown a lot of things away.

Thinking this way, she wandered off again, and Xiao Wu called her name several times before calling her back.

“Teacher Xiao Lin, are you free …… to have a meal together tonight?

“”……” Lin dye a little trance, is thinking to return the favor is also good, just ready to say yes, her line of sight over Xiao Wu’s shoulder, she saw a silhouette.

Gu An was watching them from the opposite corridor, he should have come out to smoke, his trench coat lined his slender figure, holding a cigarette, half of his face hidden in the smoke, hazy.

When did he start smoking again?

“Mr. Kobayashi?

“Ah, ah, I’m sorry, I have something to do tonight, let’s make a date some other time.

” She didn’t know what she was panicking about, and by the time she reacted she’d already pulled her bag and walked a little ways, leaving only her thoughts stirred up for a moment, and Guan’s eyes as he looked over from afar.

This is too much of a no-brainer.

She laughed at herself.

Halfway down the street, the phone rang again.

“Ah, Ms. Lin, you don’t have class this afternoon, do you?

” It was Xiao Li who had just had dinner with her.

“What’s wrong?

“Two boys in our class got into a fight, it was quite a fight, I’m in a hurry to deal with it now, can you take me to cover for me at the workplace?” “” Today, Gu An is the first time she’s been in a fight.

“……” Gu An was invited to give a speech by the Association today, wasn’t he?

What kind of destiny is that?

Lin Dye rushed to the speech venue when the workers were overhauling the big searchlight on the stage, fortunately her task was only to follow up the progress, without having to communicate with the speaker, she found a seat next to her.

“Eh, Ms. Kobayashi, you’re here too.

” A girl sat next to her and struck up a conversation with her.

This girl should be in her class, the vice president of the Employment Association, she had a baby face that was quite appealing, and she wasn’t afraid of being born, so she was able to chat with professors in their forties and fifties, not to mention with her.

“Uh-huh.

I’ve heard that Mr. Gu is a 20-year old, isn’t Ms. Kobayashi also a 20-year old?” ” Yes.

“…… Right.” “Wow.

“Wow, do you know Mr. Gu?

What was he like back then?

“The girl looked at her with her chin propped up, her eyes arched when she smiled.

“I don’t know.

“No…… don’t know?

“It’s been so many years.

“Seeing that she really has no interest in chatting on, the girl got up and said goodbye to her, she was also bored, strolling around for a few rounds, people came one after another.

The searchlights didn’t seem to have been fixed yet, but the event was about to start soon and the workers had to remove the ladders.

She looked up at the searchlight above her head, it was able to strike the light normally, there didn’t seem to be any problem.

Then Gu An also came and handed over to the host, she looked away, there really didn’t seem to be anything wrong with her.

When Gu An walked onto the stage, she suddenly realized that he was really different.

It was almost not the way she remembered him, he was dry and natural on stage, his brows were gentle and detached, and there was a complete sense of being untouchable.

She took a breath and listened quietly to his speech.

When it finally came to an end, the applause couldn’t be quelled for a long time.

He suddenly looked at her sideways.

Their eyes gently made contact in the air.

Those eyes were beautiful, once there was an entire youth that she had lost, a delusion that she couldn’t catch up with, and a handful of ashes that she had scattered away.

Dust flew as the light fell between them.

His gaze suddenly trembled.

Then suddenly she saw him become momentarily alarmed.

He lunged at her.

That was probably – those very long seconds of her life.

The blinding light of the searchlights, the shrieks of people, and him lunging to hold her close.

For a moment, her head went blank.

A loud crash hit her eardrums.

The searchlight smashed down.

When she felt the sticky touch of something in her hands, she suddenly felt that it was all a dream.

Gu An’s body was covered in blood.

She didn’t know where so much blood had come from, slowly, slowly soaking her eyes, and she suddenly realized she couldn’t make a sound as the crowd ran, someone shouting to dial 120, someone coming over to yank her, and she realized she was pulling Gu An’s sleeve tightly.

He was lying on the ground, eyes closed, peaceful, blood roiling around him.

She was pulled, her temples pounding, unable to say anything, even a little unable to stand, after a long time, she asked herself word for word.

What happened?

Since then, roughly how long has passed?

Gu An frowned at the thought after receiving the invitation to speak.

It had been a long time since a person had appeared in his world.

He had closed himself off from work, some days he even slept in the office for days at a time, there didn’t seem to be any difference between going home and not going home, and those days back then he had emptied a few cases of beer and ended up getting alcohol poisoning and being taken to the hospital.

“I finally realized how much she was hurting at that time.

” his friend shook him, not forgetting to spit out a few words as he delivered his labs.

“Are you sick?

“”……” Gu An lay down, looking at the bright lights hanging from the hospital ceiling, thinking that he was really completely over it.

Then, he slowly got up.

He finally traveled a lot of roads and understood that his little bit of cheek wasn’t quite thick enough; he also finally fell to his knees one day and abandoned certain things that he once thought were important; he began to dip into more and more of the dark side, and was bound to his body by the darkness that came up.

He came to understand that certain dirty tricks were a million times better than those in plain sight, and began to take advantage of everything around him, suddenly realizing that he was shady to the bone, which was why he was so handy at doing those things, and finally one day the man he had knelt down to in the first place prostrated himself at his feet.

He can afford to live in a villa by himself now, but he will always suddenly remember one day that he used to have a two-room house in the third ring of the city, there is a person who will cook for him and wait for him to go home, and he can rub his hair early in the morning in his pants and baggy short sleeves and say good morning to that person ah, wife.

…… He would always buy her things intentionally or unintentionally, knowing full well that they had been divorced, long ago.

He left her a room full of things he bought for her, from small slippers and bear dolls to large necklaces bought back from auctions, and some times he leaned on the doorframe to look at it, and then left with his head down and a bitter smile on his face.

From the moment he fell into the darkness, he knew he didn’t deserve her.

Later he went to their school to give a speech.

He admitted that he just wanted to see her, couldn’t help but want to see how she was doing, how she was really doing, and then she saw a man stop her and hand her a gift.

It was a pretty honest looking guy, naive, who shouldn’t be bullying her, and when she accepted the gift, she just smiled slightly, and he almost missed the cigarette he was holding in his mouth.

I’ve missed you too much.

He exhaled the smoke and looked at her quietly, a little, trying to carve her look into his mind.

He admitted that the other person in his body seemed to be screaming for him to rush over, to drag her over, to keep her with him by whatever means, and a million crazy thoughts had flashed through his mind.

Then, he skimmed and turned away anyway.

He was afraid that if he took another step slower, he would turn and rush over to her and hug her.

But he was afraid that she would cry, that she wouldn’t want to, that she would hate him, that she would call him an asshole again with tears in her eyes.

When the speech ended, he turned his head and saw her.

Had she been watching his speech from below?

In that moment, he didn’t want to do anything.

Just wanted to look earnestly into her eyes, where there were rippling lakes of water, ever serene, and he hung his head and slowly locked eyes with her.

He suddenly saw the searchlight above her head sway.

Almost by instinct, he pounced on her instantly.

There was the sound of glass catharsis, and the tingling that greeted his body for a moment, but his face brushed against her hair, gentle and tangled.

I finally got to hold you.

The hospital is always solemn and pale, for it intertwines the despair of death and the joy of new life, and I can barely drag my thoughts back to the red lights of the operating room ‘in surgery’ as a slew of doctors run past me pushing partially loaded shelves.

In the ambulance, Guan’s bleeding wouldn’t stop.

In fact, when he pushed me out of the way, he narrowly avoided the smashing searchlight, but the shards of glass that flew everywhere cut more than twenty slits in his body, several of which seemed to have cut into arteries, and a section of falling iron rod poked into his ribs, giving him a puncture.

As I listened to the doctor’s account, I was so scared that my hand was shaking as I signed.

Now it’s okay, he’s in the operating room and I’m outside, and I’m looking out the window at the swaying shadows of the trees, but I can’t find my way back to my thoughts.

I couldn’t even focus.

I didn’t realize that my reunion with Guan would have to be so tragic.

I looked blankly at the people running past in the corridor, outside the emergency room was a very noisy place, there was a constant stream of blood-stained people coming down from the ambulance, and the cries of family members suddenly burst out, piercing my eardrums miserably.

Thankfully, too, I had something to focus on, something to distract me from thinking about that.

Guan would die, most likely.

I cover my face with my hands so I can’t see anything, it’s dark, but my ears can hear everything, and I tell myself I have to calm down, but what am I going to do if Gu An does die?

I don’t want him to die, this, absolutely.

There are still some of Gu An’s subordinates here, but his family has been unable to contact him, speaking of so many years I know very little about his family, I only know that he used to live with his mother all the time.

He lived next door to my house.

Then my mom came over.

She said that after all, it was her ex-son-in-law, and that after such a big incident, or because of me, she had to come and take a look.

When she arrived, I was sitting on the floor in a state of confusion.

She tugged at me, but didn’t move, she patted me and told me to get up.

In fact, I quite admire her, she seems to encounter anything does not change color, but also look at everything to see the light.

Seeing her, I finally still can’t collapse.

“They said …… Gu An will die …… Gu An is likely to die ……” My tears seemed to leak down at once.

“Blah blah blah, talk about what, how unlucky in front of the surgery door.

” She patted me two more times.

“Alas, you …… are also sinful fate ah.

“When Gu An was pushed out from the operating room, my spirit was still in a trance, even if my mom was by my side I couldn’t slow down.

I watched his bed being wheeled out, took a few steps, and then stopped.

A group of people went up to ask for the doctor and I just watched from the periphery, he had one of those clear breathing masks on and white mist was being exhaled in peace and quiet, but I felt like the world had lost its voice for a moment.

It was noisy, yet I couldn’t hear anything.

I was stunned for a moment, my mom came close, she came back to wrap me and told me that his surgery was basically a success, if he could wake up there would be no problem.

I responded, suddenly felt the strings have been torn, followed by the fatigue that came over me.

Lin Dye ah Lin Dye.

I walked out the door, my mom asked me where I was going, I froze and said home, she told me to come back.

She told me to come back. “He’s safe, I should go.

“Aren’t you going to take care of him?

“Mom, what are you thinking, we’ve been away from …… for a long time.” “I mean, Guan saved your life, it’s only fair that you say thank you.” my mom sighed.

“My mom sighed and pulled me down the hospital stairs.

Gu An’s surgery was quite big, when we came out it was already eleven or twelve o’clock at night, in front of the hospital the street lights were still on, my mom took me to a wonton store.

Neither of us said anything, the wontons were served, the aroma of green onion oil tickled my tastebuds, and I realized I hadn’t eaten in a long time.

The fog rose, little by little outlining the fireworks.

“All these years, mom has pushed you, just wanting you to have a companion in your old age.

” My mom slowly said.

“Guan this kid saved you, but also just save, and now there is nothing early ‘little girl can not be rewarded, only to the body of the play’, mom just hope that you carry a clear, do not feel guilty and then get back together with him, you have to think clearly.

“I didn’t expect my mom to tell me this.

Who watched Gu An on TV and sighed in front of me?

I nodded and buried my head in my bowl.

I didn’t know what to do. Guan came into my life again, and every time he did, he had to stir me up, stirring up my heart.

I didn’t go home in the end.

Obviously tired, but how can not sleep, I wandered in the middle of the night in the hospital’s downstairs, thinking about the scene that he lunged at me.

He held me too tight then.

Too tight.

Later I slept leaning against a hospital chair at the break of dawn in the east, and I slept quite well, and had a dream that Gu An had died, and I went to his memorial service.

It wasn’t a good dream.

I was so scared that I woke up and found the door open in Gu An’s hospital room, and the doctors in white coats and everyone else was there.

My heart fluttered.

I got up suddenly and walked over to him step by step, in the meantime thinking of a million dream scenarios, and finally I spaced out and saw Gu An sitting properly on the bed.

He was awake.

There were still a bit of glass cuts on his face, and I didn’t know if he would break his face later, his eyes were still confused, I guess he hadn’t woken up for long and was still blinded.

I just looked at him from a distance through all those people.

I watched his vision drift, and finally I met his eyes.

His eyes, suddenly lit up.

Then his lips, gently hooked toward me.

The doctor went up to him and asked how he was feeling, and the line of sight between the two of us was blocked, and I didn’t know why I had to hide in the back, or walk, or go up to him, or know what to say.

He still had a lot of friends.

Most of them I have not seen, there are also familiar, see me a face, pull a few sentences pulling others and exit the hospital room.

Guan was resting on a hospital pillow, his hand still bandaged, and looked at me with good humor.

“Is there anything you want to say, Ms. Lin?

“Ms. Lin.

I don’t know why, but my heart still crashed when I heard that title.

“Thank you.

I’m done.”

And then I couldn’t say a word.

I locked eyes with him, his eyes were still beautiful, but his face was a little sickly pale, and we were frozen for a minute before he sighed softly.

“I put half my life on the line to hear you say thank you?

Huh?

Dye-dye?

“”……” Guan, must be the person who knows me best in this world.

He knows how to attack me, how to poke the softest spot in my heart, and he goes rogue, catching that spot and poking it as hard as he can.

I sighed and looked at him, his hands and body still bandaged, pathetic and innocent.

I walked up and leaned down, getting a little closer to him, and I felt his breathing suddenly tighten, and even that was messed up.

The moment I was almost on his lips, I left.

“Cooperate well with your treatment, Guan.

” I turned around, walked away, and the moment I brought the door with me I heard a low, dark growl from him.

His voice a little muffled through clenched teeth.

But I inexplicably, gently, laughed out loud.

Extraordinary bus outside the scenery speeding across, trees low and short in a line, Guan sat next to me, head knocked on the window glass, eyes closed, from my side to see, jaw perfect unlike.

It seemed like we were both juniors at the time, riding home together over winter break, and Gu An and I had been dating for three years and four months.

To say that girls in love, it seems that more or less short of security, I am even more so, after all, Guan seems to have never given me a sense of security this kind of thing.

When I was complaining about this with my good friend Chen Chen on WeChat, she said that she would have to find a chance to try out my boyfriend.

I said, “What do you mean?

She said, if a man is not even possessive of you, not even a little bit of vinegar, indifferent, then he basically does not love you.

That’s why she suggested that this time when she went home, she had to find a chance to try Gu An.

When I looked at Gu An again, he had already woken up, and our eyes just collided, I clearly saw his eyes, single pure montage.

“This glass is making my brain hurt,” he said, tutting his head.

” He supported his head, tsked lightly.

“……” “Almost there ……” “Uh-huh.

“His voice is still very low, the end of the sticky, see my scarf removed put on the lap, he pulled out again to give me two circles of nonsense.

“Put your scarf on, it’s going to be cold soon,” I said, nodding slightly.

“I nodded my head in a small range, his fingertips brushed against my neck when he gave me a scarf, and I lifted a bit of numbness for no reason.

“Guan.

” I call his name.

He turns his head slightly to look at me.

His eyes were always very light, so one could never feel any emotion, but the corners of his mouth lifted up in an arc, making one feel close to him for no reason at all.

“Chen Chen is asking a few of us who played together when we were kids to get together on New Year’s Eve, should we go?

” His hand against the neck activities, is absently glancing out the window, half a long time, the tail tone hooked up.

“Sure.

“Gu An and I are neighbors, and have played together since we were kids, so we basically can’t hide anything from each other, so my mom has known that we’ve been together for a long time.

When we go home for New Year’s Eve, she’s always trying to get us to play together.

In fact, I know, she is tired of me.

When I went to Guan’s house, I realized that he was putting up window decals.

It seems that he has been living with his mother, his mother is a very gentle person, anyway, better than my mother sometimes suddenly come hot temper.

Seeing me coming, he hooked his finger at me.

“Come here, help me see, is this foo crooked?

“I withdrew to see, uh, it’s crooked.

“Move it to the right.

“Like this?”

” He turned the corner and moved it in an arc, but it was a bigger arc.

” “No no no, a little more to the left …… ” “No …… ” “Lin dye.

“He simply stood and raised one eyebrow to look at me.

“It’s really crooked.

” I told him seriously.

“Come on, then come over here and help me hold it.

” I walked over and helped him hold it down, though his hand above him hadn’t let go and he didn’t mean to move away, so that it was like I was encircled by him.

He lowered his head slightly, the corner of his mouth brushing right up against the tip of my ear, his exhaled breath eroding my ear a little bit.

“Help me, good, good, against.

” Halfway through, he withdrew to look and had to admit that he did stick it crooked.

He tsked.

“Yo, you’re both in!” A voice with a bit of fluttering interrupted the weird with a bit of charming atmosphere between the two of us.

Chen Chen was my junior high school classmate, and even though she went to a different high school and a different university, our contact was never broken.

“Gu An, have you bullied my Dye Dye?

“She took my arm.

In the winter in the north, with the heating, a large indoor cotton jacket off, Gu An is wearing a turtleneck sweater, lazily leaning against the wall, the line of sight fell impartially on the arm that Chen Chen and I held together.

He laughed twice in an uncertain manner.

Instead of doing anything, he turned around and shook the glue in his hand.

“Guys, give me a hand.

“It seems like we’ve gotten a few more snowfalls this year than usual.

To be honest, the way Gu An and I get along is both like a couple and not like a couple.

Especially after returning to the place where we stayed for eighteen years, we are more like childhood friends who grew up together.

Early in the morning, I opened the door and saw Gu An yawning and sweeping snow next door.

He was wearing really much, and also wore a huge scarf that almost covered half of his face, revealing those wet peach blossom eyes to look at me.

After a long time, he greeted me.

“Morning.

‘ I nodded, and our gazes caught in the air for a split second before I pulled out a snowball I’d already pinched and slammed it at him before he could react.

Right in the center of the bull’s eye.

Guan stumbled backwards.

I guess he still hasn’t woken up yet.

Then I saw him looking at me with narrowed eyes.

At a time like this, if I don’t stand and get hit by him, should I run away.

So I mobilized the few remaining sports cells in my body and turned around to run while he was searching for his fighting tools.

As a result, Gu An, who is tall and has long legs, didn’t take two steps to catch up with me, wrapped me in his arms, and breathed into my ear.

“You’re pretty good, Lin Dye.

“I saw that he didn’t pinch the snowballs or anything, and gave up resisting, but I didn’t expect that he would just touch my neck.

He didn’t wear gloves, and his hands were really cold.

I was freezing and tried to break away from him, but he held me down in his arms, and his hands were still restless, trending all the way down.

“I was wrong, I was wrong.

I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I said.

He laughed behind me and tugged on the zipper of my jacket, lifting it upward.

“Why don’t you have a scarf?

“I was in a hurry.

“You’re in a hurry to hit me.”

“Uh-huh.”

“We didn’t say anything afterward, and now it’s starting to snow again, and the snowflakes are all over the sky, falling on his short hair, and he’s looking over at me, his head slightly bowed, and I can even see the crystals staining his eyelashes.

However, I hope that this snow, ah, fall a little longer, a little bigger.

So that maybe, if Gu An and I are not careful, we will be white.

The day before New Year’s Eve, Gu An and I went to a party organized by Chen Chen as promised.

Friends who grew up in the hutongs seemed to have changed a bit; after all, even Fatty Wang, the snot-nosed guy who used to be chased and beaten up every day, was now a gentle KU guy with a pair of black-framed glasses.

“So, you two are together?

“The fact that Gu An and I were together was not that publicized, so a lot of friends I used to know didn’t know about it.

After knowing about it, there was another look of unexpected and unanticipated one-liners.

Because to be honest, before I went to middle school, I spoke with a lot of weight in that hutong cub.

After all, I have been strong since childhood, the little girl scaled up and scaled up earlier than the boy, at that time, I was very proud, with a bunch of little brothers, even Guan have to call me sister.

Guan was my “military advisor” at that time.

As a result, he broke into any trouble to me, half of the beatings I received when I was a child, it is estimated that they were originally Guan.

He was able to coax me, and every time I blinked pitifully, I was fooled by him and really thought I deserved it.

Later on, Gu An, the master of the army, mutinied on his own flag.

Poor then my brain is not clear, never figure out how those little brothers do not play with me, how to start together against me.

Until one day, I just saw Gu An become the new kid king of that hutong, and smiled rather nastily at me.

At that time, my status had already become unquestioned plus I could occasionally get stones thrown at me when I walked.

Now that I think about it, I probably would have grown into a cheerful personality, but that’s when I became autistic.

Later, I went home and slept under the covers how can not be angry, get up and call Guan out.

I look at this guy nothing blinking innocent eyes, really feel angry, good guy he saw me look like I’m going to explode, but also a step ahead of me to threaten me.

“Lin Dye! If you dare to hit me, I’ll find an adult! You were only confined by your mom last time, you don’t want to be …… confined again,” I instantly recalled those days of taking the blame for Gu An.

I directly called out a voice and held Gu An down on the ground and hammered him.

I was crying while I was hammering.

The child’s hands have no degree, I did also use all the strength, when the adults came to separate us, I still do not relieve the anger of kicking him a little harder.

My mom slapped me across the face.

I cried even louder.

After that, I didn’t get to go out and play for the whole summer, and Gu An and I were completely tied up.

Every time I think back to that opportunity to beat up Gu An, I don’t feel relieved.

After all, I couldn’t beat him after that.

We ate hot pot, the table everyone pushed cups, like a grown-up and not like a grown-up like, I had thought that Gu An is the most familiar with this kind of bureau, but the result did not expect him to sit quietly and eat, nothing to build two sentences, a look in the eyes only dry rice.

Chen Chen told me before, she said to try Gu An please the person is fat Wang.

Called Wang Chenqing.

The small hutong era than when I was down and out, but also the bottom of the character.

My impression of him at that time was that he was snotty and sloppy, and I didn t expect him to be human-like and gentlemanly now.

Chen Chen said that during the game session later, Wang Chenqing would take the opportunity to reveal that he had some thoughts about me, so we’ll see how Gu An reacts then.

Thinking of this I looked at Gu An who had shabu-shabu’d a bowl of sliced meat and was eating happily.

He saw me looking at him and also put a chopstick of fatty beef into my bowl.

“……” After the group finished eating, they went to the ktv to sing again.

Of course, there had to be games.

The same old Truth or Dare, but everyone loves to play, Chen Chen shook his glass and yelled.

“Come to play come to play, can only play truth, dare is to drink a cup of wine ah.

“I participated, I did not expect Guan not to play.

He used to be very active at this time.

Which is like now, leaning on the sofa leaning, expression faint, see me looking at him before I hooked a little corner of the mouth.

The first turn is me, but I seem to have nothing to dig, Chen Chen held half a day, the result is another girl asked me first.

“Who confessed to you and Gu An first?” the look in that girl’s eyes, I could tell.

The look in that girl’s eyes was all too familiar to me.” I was about to answer when the girl sitting on the couch asked me.

Just as I was about to answer, Gu An, who was sitting on the sofa, answered for me.

“Me.

“He said it was him.

“……” A group of people let out an “Oh”, looking like they were forced to eat dog food.

Then the carousel never patronized me again.

On the contrary, Wang Chenqing was spun several times, but several times he grabbed the wine glass, making the group of people think that he came here to cheat the wine.

As he was turned once more, Chen Chen shielded the wine glass.

“Come on, no more drinking this time, let me ask you, what’s the thing you regret the most since you were a kid?

” I think he was a little drunk, his cheeks were tinted a little scarlet, his eyes were half-squinted, he froze for a long time, then suddenly looked straight at me.

“Probably – not having the courage to protect someone in the end.

“To be honest, the way he looked at me when he said that was too straight.

I was a bit uncomfortable being burned by that line of sight, and subconsciously went to look back at Gu An, who was sitting in the distance with a few other people watching us play.

But somehow, the crowd was too noisy, everyone was aroused by Wang Chenqing’s words, and a few people were even staring at us with a meaningful look on their faces, and when I looked over, I couldn’t see his eyes.

For some reason, I was so desperate to know his response.

As it turned out, I couldn’t wait, and after a while, Guan got up and joined between us.

“Come on, come on, I’ll play a few games too.

” His smile was as usual, and his eyes looked like they were sparkling with starlight; he seemed to be born for this place, so he could be the center of other people’s attention so easily.

He never looked at me again, though.

The party went on until eight or nine o’clock, a few little girls said that their parents were strict and wanted to go home early, so they broke up, and when Gu An and I walked to the downstairs of the ktv, the wind was blowing in our faces like knives.

We took a car, we sat in the back, I found the topic several times, but he responded lowly.

Outside the window neon light crossing, the side of his face shining brightly dark, I can not see clearly.

“But Wang Chenqing really changed ah, I remember that in the past it was me who covered him ……” I intended to stimulate him, but the result was that he really did not have much expression, so he left me hanging out to dry, and the air iced over all.

I got out of the car, he is tall and long legs, I ran a few steps to catch up with him, see him like this also really do not know what to say.

“Bye, Gu An.

“I could only say goodbye to him.

As a result, he stopped walking, turned back and clutched my wrist, pulled me into his house, closed the door and then pressed me against the door in a single motion.

His mom is probably not at home, the house did not turn on the lights, I can only use the light from the window to see his high nose.

It was dark in the house, and with my senses deprived, I heard him breathing, softly in my ear.

He kissed me just like that.

I’ve always had to admit that Gu An’s kissing skills are, indeed, very good, so good that it can torture people to death, one second pleasingly licking the corners of your mouth, the next second attacking like a monarch.

I was so kissed by him that I could hardly breathe, tugging on his sleeve, he half-supported me and kissed me all the way to my neck.

“Gu An.

” “Hmm?

” His trailing voice in the darkness was downright teasing, with his usual lazy accent.

“Are you jealous?

” I heard him chuckle.

“Jealous is for children.

” His hand traced my waist, lifting my skirt without haste, the darkness filling in, eroding the senses over and over again, and I told myself I couldn’t, pushing against him with less and less force.

The moment he entered, he gently nipped my earlobe.

“This, my lord, is generally called, eroticism.

” The fireworks exploded in the air.

The snow began to fall heavily outside the window again, and I remembered that my plan for New Year’s Eve had been to watch the fireworks with Gu An, but now, it didn’t look like either of us could go out right now.

Gu An wrapped his arms around me from behind and watched the snow outside the window with me, and the moment the fireworks exploded the sky was as white as day, and his breath hit my shoulder, and in the middle of the day, I heard him lower his voice and whisper in my ear.

“Happy New Year.